The monotony

I breath the air, the different air from my place, the odd people I see, that is journey.
Well happy Tuesday everyone, guess that I have nothing much to write today since I gotta less story to be storied. Summer has begun, sometimes it windy and rarely to see the sky cries. The breeze give us feeling, feeling of something rare, something awkward and some feeling that unpredictable. I dont know how to express it here, but ought to feel it when there's a distance between people you love ( family) . I learnt that when I am away, away from my origin place, I need to be more independent, far away to be pampered. Things you do, hardship you goes through, foods that you feed in, clothes that unwashed you need to wash by yourself. You choose, your life, you lead the way, you depends on yourself, you yourself bring your life either to good or to bad. You choose. Distance, teach me so much thing. I have never thought of being this far, studying in here and surviving alone. Its million miles away. But who cares, its a journey.

And I feel better as a person here because yeah I know where my sejadah and telekung are, I pray more than I do at home, and yeah I know where my Quran is. I don't read it out loud on a daily basis but yeah, sometimes at times before I sleep I open up my Quran and I prefer to read those with translation actually. But, surely I have been struggling in memorizing (still) surah Al-Mulk. Its my most favourite surah.  

As much as I vowed to study harder, for now I don't think I've been doing enough. I hope all those laziness will leave and the momentum will come.

So yeah Happy Tuesday everyone xx

I might be sad tonight..

But what to do, I still have to pack things up and tomorrow still I would get into flight and fly in the sky and get there to Kuching. STILL. Thats my journey, either I like it or not, I need to pretend to like it. I hate staying in distance or maybe I dont like it to be far from home. Yet again, this is my journey, and each journey need a pengorbanan. Till we meet again in March, pals.

There goes my craziness while skypoing with Farid :)

Anyway Nad, if only you read my blog I would want to say that I am pretty sure that I have a pretty smile. (okay perasan jap). Maybe some says no but some says yes, at least they make me feel better. Instead of you criticized my pout right, I am sorry that you were wrong because I can still smile properly, love.

Girlfriends

It has been really a long while, after we finished highschool. Went to different colleges and met new friends.

Then only yesterday we lepak like maybe not all of us since we missed few more girls but still at least I felt relieved with this sudden-plan meet up. We spent a less than 8hours together talked about what we missed, talked about school, campus, studies and mostly about ourselves. I wish for more hours to spend with all of you, but what to do we still have to 

split back to our own way. I am looking forward to see all of you again in any next time, and honestly I miss you guys. Be good and goodluck with exams next week aite girls.

I spent my times with all of you back then and it was like everyday w/o missed even a day, 

I got to know myself with the presence of each of you.

Thanks for the beauty friendship we had and still have.

Love you guys..

A great three days..

Sorry I've been a little bit busy since Farid was here for three days.
I know, very short thats why we really spent that precious short time wasteless.

Everything would be great if I come back to Semenanjung, yes everything.
Either with the family, friends, stuffs and of course boyfriend.
Well a big happiness is a family bussiness right?
So I put Farid, together inside the group of my family though its actually coming soon-to-be.

FIRST DAY

You know how excited we were, after a while? Too many plans we planned and all were like mixed up and doesnt fixed one on the day, because at the end, we went for movie 'Underworld' at Aeon Bukit Tinggi which it was out of plan. It was a good movie (I think) because I you know I kind of dislike that kind of Horror movie. But the ending? Hmmph, not so good it just end up with a question. Okay for me, 3 stars only kot. Then, we went to Sunway Pyramid, another out of plan. We jalan-jalan there, looking for some stuffs and sudden met Daniele (my bestfriend) and her boyfriend there. Just a quick-conversation with them, we after that went to Carls Jr for late-lunch and yes it was the most horrible lunch I ever had there. Idk why, that day everything I ate (THERE) it taste, tasteless. And yes, because of that with my intention, I was directly prohibits myself from eat at CJ again. Yes will never ever ever ever again. Done with lunch then we went to Popular, and I quickly grabbed my favourite novels and CLEO's mag, and Farid bought himself "A doctor in the house-Dr. Mahathir" , oh of course vouchers were sponsored by hehehe Farid himself. Thanks a bunch sayang. Sunway seemed boring then he drove me back to Shah Alam and we lepak at Pakli for a cold-drink and I had coolblog. Thats very cool and I love that short journey with him.

  

The end.

SECOND DAY

Yesterday, yes it was a very thoughtful yesterday where the day before yesterday I mean of course you know Sunday my mom was Idk suddenly she asked me to invite Farid to have lunch at home, and obviously I know why because she wanted us to makan and spend a day only at HOME. Then I told Farid to come over and yes with that very-naturally-shy-attitude in him he came over and met my parents. Well its not just him, my sister's boyfriend was also here yesterday. Very special yesterday I can say, and Farid told me that he's confident that he'll be part of my family soon enough. InsyaAllah.

The end.

THIRD DAY.

Its today, our last day and guess that we gonna see each other again like pn May? Zzzz okay its okay, I take that as dugaan/ test for every relationship, even Daniele's boyf was sent to Indonesia for work (engineering). Proud much right. Well, I sent him to the bus station today after we had a quick-breakfast at Sec 18. So sad and yes sad, I feel like times fly too fast w/o we realize what we've missed and we havent do yet. And I want you to know baby, I've already miss you so much. We aint got the chance to celebrate our advance anniversary right, we will soon when we got the chance. I'll make sure, it'll be our memorable moment.

Until we meet again sayang, love you loads.

Three precious and thoughtful days went really smooth, in hope that every sacrifice we gone through will give us price or benefits soon. We always pray for happiness in present and future, amin..

Happy Weekends.

Saturday with blast everyone. I am so excited today because I am going home tonight yes tonight. After all my homesick feelings, would be cured tonight. Indeed, I really want to meet my parents and sayang. Gotta pack some more stuffs now since my departure would be at 905pm and means I need to be at the airport around 7o'clock. So, yeah Happy Holiday everyone! xx

Something you dont know.

Yes, I've been informed earlier about stuff that I'd be posted to any rural areas school after I had finished my degree soon. It was sometimes scares me , but sometimes it have me thinking that maybe I should try and feel the real hardship. But of cos I am not used to it.

Dear my girls here,

 I hope you guys would understand my condition, if I use jeans to the cafe, any food stall or the malls, or I wear my flat shoes to dinner or I put on make up on my face or maybe I sprayed my perfume it is because I am used to it. Its me, my life my environment. Where I rarely go out with the tracksuits, or no face powder etc. My dad taught me that way, my mom lead me such way eversince I was a kid. And about the tudung, I might need some times to wear it permanently though I know it is compulsary in Islam but at least I still perform my 5-times-a-day-prayer.

Dont underestimate me or ever insult me, because I was born that way of life. My family's environment were maybe far way different from all of you, but dont worry I still have the respective tolerance in me towards you. I need your support isntead of satires because all I have here just all of you, the nearest sisters and brothers. If I could get into you, please take me for who I am.

I love all of you here.

I feel good

Yes, a frank statement I could confess here. Lately I feel better, better than all my yesterdays. Where I know I should've treat my friends here like my siblings because we are supposed to be treated that way between each other. Then only, each of us could feel the tenderness and the light of friendship.

I might be a little emo but..

Yes, I might be.


I would like to thank everybody, yes everybody for last year even till this tick. Thank you so much to my parents for sending me to college like too many places I've been offered to study, and of cos the decision and my route to here won't run smoothly without both of you, the strong spirit you gave me. Thank you so much to my siblings and my extended family for your full support. Thank you Mama for the endless talks we had during my super long after SPM break and until now you still got the time to talk to me. And thank you Ayah for being a very supportive dad, for your love, and yeah.. everything.


Thank you Farid, for filling up most of my days throughout 2011. You are a god sent and I am so glad to have you, even if you're so far away now. Meeting and talking to you back after so long that eventually led to something special that has never been planned.. Well it's destiny. If everything goes well, Insya Allah we'll see each other again. "Five years" is a challenge, but I know, and I believe that god will unite us one day in a legal and Halal way if we're meant to be. We've planned that good things right, so maybe it would be "four years". Again, Insya Allah. 


Thank you to my hometown friends, for being there each and every break that I have. Those lunch dates at Pakli, sleepovers, quick outing, barbeque night etc, I appreciate them all. There are no other friends that my family knows personally, know their names and make an effort to get to know their parents the way that they know you people personally. Thank you for the beautiful memories we've made throughout high school, I wouldn't be who I am today if it wasn't for you people. You know who you are. :) 

I would like to thank my beloved teachers for teaching me and telling me how hard everything's going to be and this is not high school anymore. Thank you for waking me up and making me realise what reality really is. 

Thank you to my TESL friends, especially my girls for bearing with me. You girls are usually the first group of people that I complain about my days to. Thank you to my fellow TESL-ians, who taught me the meaning of sisterhood and brother-sisterhood in a boarding school. We only have each other as entertainment in a secluded place like Batu Lintang. Thank you for the endless amount of laughter and happiness you guys have brought into my life when my days get rough and when I miss home so much. I know we all don't live close to each other, still new still feel the home sickening but still yeah, thank you so much!

I doubt that even half of the people mentioned are reading this but if you happen to read this, please know that you have a special place in my heart. 

I love you guys. Seriously.

The hardship

Who says we're all living at the centre of Kuching's town we're not gone through hardship or lack of anything? We gone through lots of it , countless. I could name it what kind of stuff that we always lack off. Like now, everyday okay I repeat everyday, we are lack of water supply. You know how hard it is? Kuching its only a big name,but you didn't feel the stress we have everyday. The most stressful time is that time after we got back from class, got to take a bathe got to pee got to defecates got to go for laundry and you name it what do you need else from water. Even, I got to waste like 30 minutes waiting for the watercooler to fully fill my bottles; so wasting time I tell you. But what to do, otherwise I have to pay 1buck for 500ml bottle of water, yet there goes another waste right? Other than that, I had experienced days and nights without electricity, no lights on, no fans spinning, no washing machine's working, no iron could be used etc. It was hardship ! We're suffering for unexpected things that are supposedly not to be happened. All we need are just to prepare ourselves for the upcoming unexpected days. Besides that, those construction's work are still in progress, yes still in progress. Thought progress to better yet I think there's nothing I could describe as better. I get annoyed with this kind of situation, ugly-view and environment bcs I'm not used to it, well not demanding ; bcs at least I am still survive, still going through each days here. Proud much huh. Oh yah not to forget, Kuching is also more or less like Kuala Lumpur I tell you, we also have flash flood every end of year. Last week, on Thursday if not mistaken, 2 peoples drowned after been swept away by the heavy-water. Tragedically happens, but me as one of the temporary-Sarawakian, together pray for their soul to get peace up there with God. Okay the next one is, money money and money. Foods, drinks (especially), stationaries, books, clothes , branded stuffs, transport's fare, groceries etc are really really really I tell you expensive to the max! You'll not survive if you got less money, or you spend so much on unimportant stuffs. Really need to make budget and control the money usage because even the allowance we get every months are sometimes not enough, like me I still depends on pa&ma's bank hehe. No money no honey no foods no everything right. It requires big money spent when you got to study in here. And its excluded the airplane tickets some more, we need to always check for the latest update nor promo on AirAsia's webpage if there's a big promotion. And since I'll get home for every school-holiday. And it doesnt include the novels and reference books yet dictionary that is compulsary and so do the handsout etc really make us spent too much money here well I bet every students does right. So isnt a big problem because its necessarily we need them. And last but not least, a so-not-cool thing strike when you and your roomate have to welcome in the third person to your room. Can you imagine, our room isnt a big one, its just a very small 4 walls room, too small, even my own room at my house is even better, bigger and comfortable, MY room not a sharing-with-two-or-many-person's room. So, we just need the idea and use our cleveressness of brain to survive and manage how to pack 3 persons in a small crib. Yes we had succeed in managing it, but in the same time we are sufferingsssssssssss. But thank God, few weeks coming, we are no longer three and back to two again. So again freedom for us, oh actually for me. Well, that's that. Thats what we called as life, no easy and perfect life we ought to go for hardship first yet only the indulgency will come after.

If you want a good and perfect life, I suggest you to watch any Barbie's movie. You would feel their fantastic and awesome magical world. But of course, they'll show you their hardship part before they come for happiness but they fought the hardship with magic. See, that is Life. We couldnt get rid of the hardship. If only we are happens to live with magics , everything is going to be good, great, excellent, awesome and runs smoothly like pretty smooth as Barbie's world. But as muslim, we trust all of this hardships happened for reasons and yet will be rewarded soon or sooner. He knows best, be grateful and thankful.

Sick

I'm suffering for backbone ache, I didnt noticed since when but surely tonight I can't sleep because its really really painful. I hope there's nothing worst than only an ache please don't get me reach the serious stage.

Sarawak

New soul, new breath, new resolution, new image, new semester.
BUT OLD VIEW of campus, even worst than before --'
Heh, nevermoinnd about that.
Yang penting, I'll get home on 21st hehehe :P

Happy 2012

I aint got any new resolution,
just each upcoming days I'll try to be better,
better than yesterday nor before
looking forward for any good things and attitudes.

But to reflect back what has happened in 2011,
all are very wordless priceless etc (you name it)
the most beautiful memory is when I've never expected to seriously fall in love
yet I have him with me and get loved by him.
How he appreciates me, loves me, really care for me,
respects me, and getting closer to my family compared to all the old ones.
I didnt say he's super perfect but he's more than enufffff to complete me.

And the second one,
When finally I chose to follow mom's request,
which I need to sacrifice my dream-job (lawyer) and changed it to a teacher to be.
I quit my law Uitm, I leave my favourite friends there, and every good moment.
Its really good to have them around, to tease each other to have each laughter together.
But..
I made a big future-decision for mom and dad.
I want them to be happy, and instead I've been thinking that it aint that bad if I go for Tesl.
In hope, there's a hikmah for all this.
And now, I'm here in Sarawak for Tesl .
Almost reach the second sem already, well..
Sometimes I feel good, sometimes its fully miserable to be here.
But its a common feeling, wherever I be or stay.
I just need to adapt and adopt the new environment no matter what happen.
I know, I have my girls and few boys here that could help me feeling good here.

Well, I still need to continue my life my journey and catch my future.
Oh anywayssss..
InsyaAllah kad kahwin sampai kat u olls in 2017 hihihi :P