In deep.

All this while I've been searching for any surah that shall give me protection in any kind of distraction I might have/gotten. Of course you may learn, yourself on how to defend, how to hide, how to run, how to avoid yourself from any circumstances but I know, there's a reason why some thing happens, where, what, who and how its all the almighty's plan.

Well,
we are oftenly read this surah ; Al-Falaqm usually during we perform our 5times a day prayer .
Do you know what's the purpose of this surah been read? Do you really know what you read.
Okay I'm not good, disebabkan I know that I am not a good muslim so I have these intention to install this app on my phone , ''The Holy Quran". This mobile-textbook is intended for those who break ground in Quran studying. At the basis of the textbook, there are the translation and the tafsirs of modern elucidators , and also the hadith of Prophet Muhammad, let Allah bless and greet him.

Thus, this app allows people, including me whom lack of knowledge of Arabic ( dulu class Arab I skipped and dropped the subject hehehewww kan dah tak faham :P ) get to know the pronunciation and content of separate surahs of Quran.

I found this phrase of meaningful meaning. Its about hasad, since I know even sekecil zarah pun, akan ada dalam hati kita hasad dengki towards other people. So guysss, take a look at this.

Make yourself free to at least flip your quran, and read the tafsirs the random content of it. It is an interesting real stories of daily basis. In hope, that all of you might gotten the bless and greet from Allah SWT Insyallah.

Assalamualaikum , jawab dapat pahala. Hehehehew.

Piece of it

I didnt mean to mention about love problem here but I've been urged by myself to share this one story from Farid's friend. I think this is for us, and so for any other lovebirds out there that recently quarrel between each other like us, like we did everyday. I dont know whats the matter of quarreling but I think we should've better stop it. Stop for best.

ISTERI  : abg ape kata mlm ni kita xpyh tdur sama2.. abg tdo luar, ayang tdur dlm bilik.       
SUAMI : kenapa syg.. 
ISTERI  : ha.. ayang ada 1 prmainan, ayang catatkn smua kburukan abg sbyk mgkin dan abg pun catatkn tntg 
               kburukan ayang sbyk mgkin!esok pg kita baca balik tntg apa yg kita dah tulis tu..          
SUAMI : ok. 


mlm tu si isteri senaraikan tntg kburukan suami dia smpai xtdur.. suami dia di ruang tamu pun x tdur...hingga ...ke pg wktu sarapan,



ISTERI  : ha, mcm mana, siapa nk mulakn dlu?  
SUAMI : ayang dlu mulakan..

ISTERI  : ok abg dgr tau, (sambil mngeluarkn 2,3 helai kertas yg dicatat nya mlm td) 
ISTERI  : abg x romentik... abg x pndai pujuk.. abg bla bla bla.. bla bla bla.. ok dah, skang abg plak! 
 SUAMI : (die mngeluarkn 3,4 helai kertas yg kosong) abg mntak maaf... takde apa yg abg dpt senaraikn tntg 
                kburukan ayg. sbb abg trima ayg seadanya.. dan sgala kburukan ayg abg sentiasa maafkn.. dan 
                abg mntak maaf klau abg xsempurna di mata ayang 


> > si isteri trgamam dn air mata jatuh berlinangan, terus die peluk dan memohon ampun pd suami  
       nya.. dia mnyesal, kerana tlh mlukakan hati suami nya.. die juga sedar dan brsyukur.. bhawa    
       suami nya adalah insan yg terbaik yg tlh dianugerah kn untuk-Nya.. ++ Siapa nak share, silakan 
       :-) - Via Thira Hamdan


Well, I didnt say that I was imagining that its me in that place called wife but as a girlfriend sometimes I know I gave to much tense to him. You know how girls can act if they get jealous or mad or doubt etc? I tell you its totally horrible, troublesome and you name it. Maybe yeah some wouldnt agree with this, but trust me how strong your exterior shows, I know it wasn't the same as what you feel inside. 


And I think this story is so meaningful, the clauses that they used are really have its own meaning. We might sometimes be under control, but maybe we shall try to be not over limit in that madness lane. 


And believe me in this modern society, its so rare to find this kind of husband/man. For me, I can tell that Farid is one this kind of attitude where he's so sweet heart and softspoken. I give this compliment to you baby, and you know that as well because I word it so many times right. So I should be grateful, not with acting always have huge-doubt, uneasy feelings and too pushy. Imma fire and he's the water. 


But with anykind of man/ woman are you together with, never regret on it. Why count the wrong, why dont we count the blessings right? so yeah just enjoy the moment, and I sip this also for myself as a present and future reminder in love happiness. 

A little heart broken

I have never told you or share with you my secret-past. Because I do respect our relationship. I respect you and seriously I envied your attitude which you are so soft spoken, sweetheart and respect me. But somehow yesterday I don't know why when we were in the middle of this conversation, your stories really broke my heart. I feel fully guilt and I dont know what is your purpose of telling me that story. I wouldn't mention it here, but though you I've forgave you, still I dont have the guts to resist the feeling of sad and frustrated. I just want to understand your past, compliments your present and support your future no matter what. Life is too short to stress about it because at last I know, we would find each other because indeed we need each other so much.

And another broken heart when today , I went to the mall I saw those people were holding roses, a box with red ribbon or some else it hurts me when I saw a Valentine booth! Red is the symbolic of love. Along this 19years of living my life, I have never get the chance to celebrate valentine, because somehow the love doesnt exist that time or like now he's too far away from me. I've always wish that I'll get the chance to at least one celebrate it in my teenage year, but what to do its 2 days to go. And next year the valentine comes when I'd already reach the adulthood year. Its okay.

Well, I would like to explain a bit what is Valentine for me. Why is it people always being a narrow minded and descriminate those who celebrate it? Why do you need to take it hardly? Valentine is a special day which that day you shall see its a full of roses and red hearts day. Its like a love day, why are you people seeing that valentine is a praise for christian day? I tell you, different people, different perception and meaning of it. Why should you yang tak celebrate it nak condemn people yang sambut. I know we can celebrate it lain hari but tak salah nak celebrate and enjoy the love day, like we share it with the whole world. Please lah dont be so judgmental person and semua benda pun nak judge, just enjoy the moment okay. Its gonna be fun without you touch the other religion sensitivity pun.

We live once, so treat today like there is no more tomorrow for us. Islam pun galakkan begitu kan, do the best for today like tomorrow you'll die. Thats all, assalamualaikum semua xx

Barely & rarely

Sometimes I feel like life is unfair, it treats me bad, it throws me away to another dreamworld, it sent me to a is-it-for-real imagination and it makes me feel like why should I live my life ? I think not only me who'll feel and get that feelings as in I know thousand billions zillions of people are having and feeling the same weirdness. Between these weeks, in social studies class we are in the topic of Gender and Society. It have me thinking some more about how am I a girl, why am I girl, why am not a boy, why I was born from this mom not that etc. Yes, I may think and ask myself the 4W and H question but its fated.

In Islam it has ever been mentioned in Quran, where you can't think overlimitly. Where in some part, you might possibly think that why are you in your own religion, why are you not in that religion, why you pray like this, why you are following that kitab and so on. But do not overthink about it because somehow, when you reach that crappy part you might turn from want-to-know to Murtad (w/o intention or with) . Okay that's that. I dont want to explain some more, scared of being bashed by others.

I still remember, few years back I think during my primary, two to three girl friends of mine and I were somehow without a good and further knowledge,either the strongpoints we bashed onto these 2-non-muslim-girls, our classmates. Well it was a quite funny moment which we were somehow like trying to pull them to join Islam. Our intention is good, and I think its noble thing. BUT, the way we did the confession was really tremendously horrible. I think worst than horrible. Could you imagine, how we confessed to them that their God wasn't true, wasn't really alive, and got nothing or power to help you on giving forgiveness or giving wealth etc? Yes it might be true, at first they said they were realize that their God was only a rock, a beautiful design of rock. But they do respect them, they seek for forgiveness or wishes and request all they seek from that stone-God. Then we the Muslims, were being firestone some more and we did kutuk and hina their God.
Can you imagine, how it feels when other races/religious told you that
'Eh, awak punya tuhan tu tah pape lah batu je, dahlah ada gajah lah apa lah, awak tahu tak dia tak tolong apa-apa pun? baik awak masuk agama kitorang, tuhan kitorang wujud rather than yours yang tk tahu kebenaran' 


Both Indian-girls were abstractly-exhausted when they were sitting there on their chairs, silently.
I think we were rude,I mean like so so so so so so so rude. We know its rude only after recess , one of the girls (actually they are cousins) called her mom and yes with the motherly-careness she came and met our English-teacher which is dead-pugnacious scolded three of us for talked harsh towards the Indians and warned us if only we repeat the same thing again "I will slap the three of you, if only you do it again dont be so rude towards other religions"  Can you imagine how scary it was for being warned by a teacher at that small-age? We were so naive and trust me I had never ever let it happens again. Because since that day, I was really conscious and have the respective tolerance towards other races. Its me, I could think if there are people from other races curse my beautiful religion, Islam now. 


But, recently we have heard the issues of this country, quarreling about the rights of these Hindu, Buddha, Christian, and Islam itself. What is the rationality of quarreling on something that arent worth of fighting? We are living in the same land, the same sky and the same air we breath. We reached the Kemerdekaan together, together we fight the best for our country and the Perlembagaan already been made long years ago. Why should we doubt and make it as big matters now? I still can't see the rationality.


Well, I dont wanna get bothered with it. Because I know, Malaysia is a peaceful country and we can solve it somehow, some time. It takes time, it shouldnt be any issue of this anymore.


Anyway thats all, I either not perfect creature, I write this not only for public attention but also a reminder for myself. We as human always make mistakes, and for that we also try so hard to be better and better than before. Thats all , thank you and have a nice day. 

Reflections..

You dont like people then there are people who doesnt like you.
You cheat then you'll be cheated.
You backstab someone then you'll be backstabbed.
You are being 2 faces then there are people who'll acting nice to you but talk bad behind you.
You talk harsh, then people will talk double harshy with you.
You are being unpolite then people will do the same.
You copy then you'll be copied.
You laugh at someone's appearance then actually there are people laugh at yours.
You complaint this and that then people complaint about you.
You have other person actually you're hated.
You point finger on someone then you'll be pointed next other time.
You dont smile to people then dont ask why people didnt smile to you.
You dont appreciate friends then dont ask why are you being ignored.
You dont love people dont ask why you are not being loved.
You are being sellfish then people will not share anything with you also.
You over tease someone dont ask why people tease like that with you.

Everything you do it will reflect back to you. What's the matter of being judgmental, nosy and jaga tepi kain orang? And what's the matter or complaining someone's life, even my life? You know actually you maybe lack of something, maybe you are lack of things I have that you dont have. There are few reasons why people talk/complain/kutuk.
1.Because maybe we are wrong.
2.Because maybe they want things get better
3.Because they are actually jealous and envy your life.

Well, obviously we know mostly the reason would be number 3. Even I admit myself I sometimes judge because I jealous. I think I always being nice to people, jauh pula to hurt them so what's the matter of tak puas hati? Haha I know I dont take things for granted, maybe your reason is number 3. Go on, I dont mind. I shouldnt get bothered with those distractions. I am fine and happily breath the peaceful air. My advice is, maybe sometimes you need to live in maturity :) lesson learn.

Not at all

Not all people in this world like us, respect us, envy us, love us or hate us. They come in different part of interest. Or maybe they like, they love they fancy but yet possibly could hate us too. Even me, I've learn that not all my friends would feel easy with me or even me would feel easy with them. Some might not suit with me. But, it doesnt matter as long as I can still bring myself and enjoy the moment. Maybe sometimes, its kind of hurt but you know this is the time for me to learn, how to bring myself ahead and being desperately positive in whatever condition though you know it is HARD! Thats how life treat you, either bad or good we still need to accept, and go through it. If only in this world God produced the same kind of human being, then life would be tremendously boring, thats why we were born in different attitude. I think I just need to be careful and just enjoy the moment. But, I want it to be perfect where if I do respect other people's life or their privacy then they should do the same. Not being nosy and busybody or lousy or whatever you name it. Sometimes, the element of true friendship need to be widely exposed to some people. So you'll know what you must do or mustn't do.

Anyway, I really miss home and my loved ones there in my place :'(

Beyond everything.

Would you just listen and please don't say a word, just yet, I'd like you to think back to the very first time we met, How you felt around me? The memories we shared, And just remember that once upon a time, you really cared.

Now think about how we parted, and how much I cried,

    But please don't speak, remember that I never ever lied, That I told you the honest truth about why 
                          we were to split,But now I'd like you to know that my heart broke bit by bit.

Was it me being too paranoid, yet you might think I am too care less about being one of the understanding person? I might be, but I know I am not being that paranoid that negative but am just a human that was fated to give a full care. 

Maybe I didn't realize that the perfections that I kindly doesn't care after all, is actually what I want from you. But I prefer to say it that I need attention instead of perfection.

Well, no matter how much it hurts, I still love you.