Sometimes I feel like life is unfair, it treats me bad, it throws me away to another dreamworld, it sent me to a is-it-for-real imagination and it makes me feel like why should I live my life ? I think not only me who'll feel and get that feelings as in I know thousand billions zillions of people are having and feeling the same weirdness. Between these weeks, in social studies class we are in the topic of Gender and Society. It have me thinking some more about how am I a girl, why am I girl, why am not a boy, why I was born from this mom not that etc. Yes, I may think and ask myself the 4W and H question but its fated.
In Islam it has ever been mentioned in Quran, where you can't think overlimitly. Where in some part, you might possibly think that why are you in your own religion, why are you not in that religion, why you pray like this, why you are following that kitab and so on. But do not overthink about it because somehow, when you reach that crappy part you might turn from want-to-know to Murtad (w/o intention or with) . Okay that's that. I dont want to explain some more, scared of being bashed by others.
I still remember, few years back I think during my primary, two to three girl friends of mine and I were somehow without a good and further knowledge,either the strongpoints we bashed onto these 2-non-muslim-girls, our classmates. Well it was a quite funny moment which we were somehow like trying to pull them to join Islam. Our intention is good, and I think its noble thing. BUT, the way we did the confession was really tremendously horrible. I think worst than horrible. Could you imagine, how we confessed to them that their God wasn't true, wasn't really alive, and got nothing or power to help you on giving forgiveness or giving wealth etc? Yes it might be true, at first they said they were realize that their God was only a rock, a beautiful design of rock. But they do respect them, they seek for forgiveness or wishes and request all they seek from that stone-God. Then we the Muslims, were being firestone some more and we did kutuk and hina their God.
Can you imagine, how it feels when other races/religious told you that
'Eh, awak punya tuhan tu tah pape lah batu je, dahlah ada gajah lah apa lah, awak tahu tak dia tak tolong apa-apa pun? baik awak masuk agama kitorang, tuhan kitorang wujud rather than yours yang tk tahu kebenaran'
Both Indian-girls were abstractly-exhausted when they were sitting there on their chairs, silently.
I think we were rude,I mean like so so so so so so so rude. We know its rude only after recess , one of the girls (actually they are cousins) called her mom and yes with the motherly-careness she came and met our English-teacher which is dead-pugnacious scolded three of us for talked harsh towards the Indians and warned us if only we repeat the same thing again "I will slap the three of you, if only you do it again dont be so rude towards other religions" Can you imagine how scary it was for being warned by a teacher at that small-age? We were so naive and trust me I had never ever let it happens again. Because since that day, I was really conscious and have the respective tolerance towards other races. Its me, I could think if there are people from other races curse my beautiful religion, Islam now.
But, recently we have heard the issues of this country, quarreling about the rights of these Hindu, Buddha, Christian, and Islam itself. What is the rationality of quarreling on something that arent worth of fighting? We are living in the same land, the same sky and the same air we breath. We reached the Kemerdekaan together, together we fight the best for our country and the Perlembagaan already been made long years ago. Why should we doubt and make it as big matters now? I still can't see the rationality.
Well, I dont wanna get bothered with it. Because I know, Malaysia is a peaceful country and we can solve it somehow, some time. It takes time, it shouldnt be any issue of this anymore.
Anyway thats all, I either not perfect creature, I write this not only for public attention but also a reminder for myself. We as human always make mistakes, and for that we also try so hard to be better and better than before. Thats all , thank you and have a nice day.